THE COLUMN
Gee. It’s like now that CAPITOLISM has gone belly up… the other shoe(INSURANCE COMPANIES) is dropping !!!!! Get on yer knees Queens and pray h a r d that the Republicunts wont cock block the HEALTH CARE BILL with the PUBLIC OPTION, so the wrong ass right wing can’t keep their Insurance/Lobbiest extortion ring from screwing us lil’ peons. It’s only been the most embarrassing WAR on THE POOR, that all of the chic’ chic’ chic’ euro trash, westernized countries on the globe have gotten to see world wide, how rotten the rich, white, republicunt skeetchery party really is. With us Faggots being the NEW Black these days we reallly all could use alittle public option for our health dramas, with the God fearing christians wanting to legally kill us at every turn…yes Mary, the blood letting will git messier ! Gay Gawd knows we all could use a “good docter “ to keep us alive turning the next couple years of this HETERO VS. HOMO WAR that the sweet, charming Satanic Christians have waged against us. ON YER KNEES, PRAY ! (and suck if you have to!)butt really Marys…P R A Y for good to come our gay way!!!!!! And speaking of servin’ the good fight for our BIG GAY FAG & BULL DAG RIGHTS….. THE FACTORY’s KING BEAV Sandy Sachs & right hand Madam Robin Gans celebrated their GIRLBAR 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY ! Ruling the lesbi-realm ain’t easy, Mary! Between all those closet dyke fights that Mr.(CLOSET)Queen Latifah has started with her big fat closet case ass over these hard to be honest and OUT 40 or 50 years. Its really refreshing to have Ms. Sandy Sachs ruling FACTORY EVENTS SPACE inspire and conspire all of the other OUT business women and men in the MOST pathetically CLOSETED town in all of the sweet, charming borders of these United States of Amurder!!!!! Spotted on the Tranniversary Scene: Jessica Beau, Rhonda Scott, Darren Mills, Jeffrey Sanker, Sussy Selbts, Christophe Touchard, DJ’s Dawna Montel, Casey Alva, Cat NYC, Kimberly S & Mike Bryant, Wade Willaims, Saskia Webber, Rick K, Leslie Barclay, Shannon Kampa & Cathy Sullivan. On the other Palace of Pretties side of town at glamorous notorious, and glorious AVALON, the NYC hipstar entity MR. BLACK has given Tuesdays at Hollywood and Vine a very Swank lil’ home. With Luke Nero at the helm of homos & nasty heteros too….in cuntycuntjunction with Rusty Updagraff, Gregory Alexander and Lenora Claire at the high up disco, with yummy dinner too, it has put a BEIGE legendary staple in this hot hot hot package! Some Stars makin’ their presence be known to the Famewood realm: Lady Fag, Rainblow, Adam Lambert, Candy Ass(Hollywood), Alexis Arquette, Sham Ibrahim, Steve Gernstein, Larva, Hector Xtravaganza, Cheyne Hauk, Fares Saleh, Samantha Bronson, Josh Peace, Richie Rich, Dirty Diana, Traver Rains, Erik Rudy, DJ Nelstar, Lawrence Gold, Leopold, Sir Earl and Limp Wristed. The old Weho Legendary Night Club that has had many a name changes, but still remains “PEANUTS” to us Tranny Rulers in the Strip club world of Fame, Flesh and Fucks..is B A C K !With new proprietors Hartwell & Josh Richmand putting VOYEUR on the eyes, nose and even queer ears of downtown West Hollywood. Thursdays are Hetero-ish, Closety Young and Hung Hollywoody’s . And we have yet to see the honorary, institutionalized, iconoclastic TRANNY NIGHT open back up….it’s probably a matter of dragtime before the full blown Tranny Fucker Mafia opens shop. Although in the mean streets of The Gay Mafia run club world, Gay Mobstars Jeffrey Sanker & Paul Nicholls have Mary managed to skeetch up SUNDAYS! every otha. And the opening was very looky loo, Mary Mafioso with the heavy homo hitters like the David Cooleys, Woody Woodbecks, David Wanamakers, Chad Hudsons, Candy Ass Hollywoods, Orlando Puertas, Andrew Gruver, Josh Millers, Cheyne Hauks, Justin Crofts, Jordan Shannons and Lanny Leydas. Oh boy! It’s nothing but loads of trouble in Tinsel town and Shamantha Cox is on the case ready to crack the crimes and serve you up some unfiltered grade A gossip, girl! Sueeeyyy! America’s new music chart topper Taylor Swift is suing a sports bar after a sting operation revealed she was cheated out of paying her music royalties when they played her music at their small Idaho bar!!??! In other lawsuit news, Debbie Rowe (the mother of Michael Jackson’s kids) is being sued by a photographer she assaulted in small claims court for $7,500 in damages! Uh oh! It’s television time for Master Pit Bull Larry King’s 9 year old son Cannon, who will be starring on an upcoming tv show called Kid Pitch, which revolves around youngsters interviewing Major League Baseball players. Eviction season is in full swing! Faye Dunaway owes $1,920.85 in back rent to her New York landlord, Vanderleigh Properties, and if she doesn’t pay up they want her out! Tax time! The IRS has filed a $33,819,087,14 lien against Girls Gone Wild mastermind Joe Francis! Uh oh! Nicole Richie has been hospitalized for pneumonia! fight time! Paris Hilton and her gay boyfriend Doug Reinhardt got into another terrible row outside her home where eyewitnesses say he shoved her and hit her! The LAPD were called to the scene, but Paris and Doug both insisted that it was Doug’s house guests who were fighting and not the fame-ass couple! Too bad! Mr. “Lady” Ga Ga is ruling the pop world with his biiig Bad Romance hit and her Beyonce collaboration but, the Grammy trannies are throwing him under the bus, saying he is NOT eligible for Best New Artist since he earned a grammy last year for Just Dance! Mr. Ga Ga made everyone like Gwen Stefani, Gavin(Boy George’s ex boyfriend)Rossdale, Pierce Brosnan, Eva Mendes, Perez Hilton, Rose McGowan, Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, Christina Ricci, Ridley Scott, Brett Ratner, Brian Grazer, David Hockney, Jeff Koons, and architect Frank Gehry go goo-goo when he performed a lil’ performance art piece for the 30th Anniversary party of LA ‘s MOCA gallery! Yay! Our favortie T.V.star Heather Chadwell made a cameo appearance in the FX hit show Always Sunny in Philadelphia alongside Danny Devito and big stars in Hollywood! It was stars only at the New Moon premiere! 50 Cent, Jamie Kennedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Dakota Fanning, Ashley Greene, Jennie Garth, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Joan Jett, Kellan Lutz, Shar Jackson, Nikki Ree and Peter Facinelli all showed up to the various premiers of the hot film all around the world to take big screen press time fame! But,just cause everyone else in the country is in love with Taylor Lautner and the New Moon Twilight movie, it doesn’t mean Miley Cyrus is gonna hop on that band wagon! My favorite teenage speed queen spoke out against the series saying she doesn’t want anything to do with it! Closet problem time! Fox Studios is mad at The Advocate magazine because they published an interview with Glee star Chris Colfer where he admitted to being gay! Fight time! Sarah Lyin Palin is mad at Newsweek for publish a cover with a sexy photo of the former governor wearing short shorts and a tight red top. The photo was originally taken for a magazine called Runners World, but now Newsweek is using the photo and Sarah’s pist, accusing Newsweek of sexism for their photo choice! Romance time! Things are heating up between Ashley Tisdale and her boyfriend Scott Spear. Whee! That’s all the gossip for this week! Stay tuned to Odyssey Magazine for all your dish served up bi-weekly, Miss Thing! And don’t forget to tune into Marytv.net for all the O.G. gay programming and hot stories, especially for you! Keep your gay eyes glued to Odyssey, where we take great pride in serving you all the shameful star dirt. MARYTV.NET is Miss Web’s Big Gay TMZ, click & see! And Fags & Bulls.keep up da fight for HOMO Human Rights NOW!!!! (parodyMary!)
