THE COLUMN.
WOW. JOBS. JOBS. JOBS. JOBS. JOBS……BLOW JOBS?
Gee that’s a breeze, the blowing in the wind, variety…butt REAL JOBS…REAL PROBLEM. With the bitchy, lil’ cuntry’s mood schwinging all over the bi-polar map, it’s just a matter of straight time, irritatting hetero, boring time until the healthcare, and banking systemc a r e PROBLEMS, get the attention and fixing our fucked up countries karma needs. Like NOW. 2010. Straight away!!!!!! So Faggots, don’t hold yer breath….just blow. BLOW HARD! LLLLLLOOOOLLLLL!
And PRAY HARDER!!!!! That the Green Jobs that President Bareback Obottom wants to start up, to create the wind, solar and even alternative clean fuels like cellulosic ethanol,won’t be sabotaged by oil/coal right wing assholes. 2010 can and will be the year of UBER-CHANGE if we allow the genius of Prez. Obottom to go forward, and tear down the repugnantcunt party’s oil/coal lobbies B.S., just like the Pharmaceutical SCAM Lobby, The Hospital SCAM Lobby that cuntinues to rape the MIDDLE CLASS. THE PROBLEM IS THE U.S. OF AMURDER “HAD” A MIDDLE CLASS B E F O R E the bush kkklan swooped in and stole elections. The PROBLEMS with our Homosexual Human Rights, are a mere pity, pity, trip pittance, compared to the fact that our Idiotic Country is the debt-est country in the world, a g a i n . We as a pack of Ruling Gay Faggots must keep our legal rights/ marriage rights/ just plain right to fight in perspective. Money helps allot to accomplish even a Federal FIGHT to allow all 50 states in our Mean lil’ Christian ran Cuntry….the luxury of same sex marriage. Let the Big Barebacker in the “high-yellow house” spin some left wing, commie bastard magic, as he fucks em all without a condom… and then we can go in for the Homosexual human rights K I L L I N G!!! LOL ! Oh boy here come the Uber Fame problems! Break up rumor alert!!! Closet case Faggot/Bull Dagger P.R. Couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are taking a hard ride high up on the divorce press fame horse! Everyone from TMZ to Star Magazine is screaming SPLIT!! SPLIT!!! SPLIT!! Oh boy… let’s look at the facts: 1. Brad Pitt just bought a new home. 2. Both Brad and Angelina met with a lawyer 3.They both strongly DENY the rumors and claim the meeting with the lawyer was to “set up” a prenuptial agreement. Hey, isn’t that about the same sequence of events that took place with Guy Ritchie and Madonna??? Yippie! It’s Sundance Film Festival time once again! Stars like Beau Bridges, Harvey Weinstein, Ben Affleck, James Franco, Simon Rex, Bill Murray, Kelis, Joan Rivers, Shar Jackson, Tommy Lee, Marisa Tomei, and Brent Bolthouse all went up to Park City Utah for the full time fame fun! Super problem time! Jay Leno went up to Dyke Ruler Oprah Winfrey’s tv show and told Miss Gay Oprah that he hasn’t talked to Conan O’Brien about all the fights and he is not mad or hurt by Conan’s jokes but there still seems to be lot of problems!! Wheeeee!!! Tila Tweakila is still at it fighting for Murder Fame! Now, she’s mad at Kelly Osbourne for telling her to shut up about Casey Johnson! Tila’s “speaking out” (aka TWEAKING OUT) on her twitter to call Kelly all kinds of childish names!! Hey, Tila Tweakila how’s your album, your world tour, your Haiti benifit, your pretend bodyguards, your imaginary pregnancy, and… your imaginary fame!!! AWWAAGH!!! Oh boy! Lady Ga Ga is all recovered from his exhaustion stint! He is back up on tour and making lot of press heavy appearances all over the world! Gloden Globes time! The best stars at this years awards show were Cameron Diaz, Monique, Glen Close, Robert Downey jr., Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, Kate Hudson, Felicity Huffman, Chace Crawford, Christian Slater, Emily Blunt, Christina Aguilera, Chloe Svigney, Alan Ball, Halle Berry, Adrian Grenier, Mariah Carey and Drew Barrymore!! Uh oh!! Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are owed $50,000 by the State of Louisianna! The money is from an unclaimed interest fund earned from either a joint property the ex-couple sold back in Louisiana, or some shared income tax filed several years ago. The government’s just waiting for Brit and K-Fed to step forward and say it’s theirs. Yippie! Actor Paul Reubens is bringin’ Pee Wee Herman back to the live stage at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles! Big stars like David Hasselhoff, Luke Perry, Drew Carey, Patricia Arquette, Alexis Arquette, David Arquette, Daryl Hannah, Toni Basil, Cheri Otteri, Adam Shankman, and sexiest man alive Dr. Drew all showed up to the star studded premiere! DJ extortion time! Pauly D., a cast memeber of the hit reality show Jersey Shore is starting his career as a DJ and he’s askin’ for $10,000-$25,000 a gig!! Talk about HIGH RATE!! LAWSUIT TIME!! Britany Murphy’s husband Simon Crack-jack is planning to sue Warner Bros, claiming that they were responsible for Brittany’s death by causing her to have a heart attack due to devastation from loosing her role on the sequel of “Happy Feet”!!! DUI fame time! Hero’s star Adrian Pasdar was arrested for a DUI and his Dixie Chicks girlfriend Natalie Maines didn’t even bother picking him up from jail!! Trouble on the set! We’re already hearing lots of runors there are plenty of problems on this seasons American Idol! Simon Cowell is fighting nonstop with Ellen Degenerees, while everyone from Christopher Ciccone to La Toya Jackson is fighting to be a judge next seasons show since Simon’s steppin’ down!! Speaking of Simon’s Simon Fuller the creator of American Idol is reportedly close to offering Mr. Cowell’s position to Madonna!! And, speaking of American Idols, according to USA Today and Nielsen Soundscan Lady Gay Gay-Adam Lambert has the best selling American Idol Album so far!! Hooray!! Everyone’s jumpin’ up on the Haiti fame train! Miley Cyrus is donating profits from her new song to help victims in Haiti, while big wigs like Jack Nicholson, Leonardo Di Caprio, Rihanna, and Bono arranged a concert/ telethon to raise lots of much need financial help to Haiti! Meanwhile, Madonna, Mary J. Blige, Shakira, Sting, Jennifer Hudson, Bruce Springsteen put on an Mtv concert to show their support! That’s all the filth for this week! Stay tuned to Odyssey Magazine for all your dirt dish served up bi-weekly, Mary! MARYTV.NET is Miss Web’s Big Gay TMZ, click & see! And Fags & Bulls.keep up da fight for HOMO Human Rights NOW!!!! (parodyMary!)
