ASS-TROLOGY
Okay, hello. Summer time and the living is easy. The Summer Solstice has just passed, and I hope you worked it for all its worth. A friend telephoned from England that night. He was at the Henge to end all Henges…Stonehenge, where they claim to have the world’s biggest Summer Solstice wing-ding, I guess the joint was jumping! Now the word Solstice is a Latin word combo of “sol” or sun, and “stice” or, to stand still – or as we know it, the longest day of the year. Way back when, that crazy crew, the Druids established the most enduring celebration tradition associated with the Solstice of Summer which was what they considered to be LUCKY, and what they termed, the “wedding of the Heavens and the Earth.” Now, from this party, we got in the habit of having more weddings in the month of June than any other month, as a June wedding was thought to be blessed and luckier than those taking place at other times. Hold the phone. As it so happened, New York, the Empire State, a place so nice they had to name it twice, and a place that has its very own issue of lucky Odyssey Magazine, just had reason-a-plenty to do some celebrating indeed. The state passed Gay Marriage and had one big old lucky-ass Pride, and so the bells did ring-a-ding dong. It’s on like Donkey Kong! Read your horoscopes. Kiss someone. Put a ring on it. After all, you’re all stars.
Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19: You may ask the fellahs who deliver your new sofa to move it, “a little to the left” and then “a little to the right,” but you finally plop it right smack dab in the middle. Do this with your own direction at this time as well. In spite of temptations to walk on a wild side or two – resist for now. Hey diddle-diddle, stick to the middle. David Hyde Pierce
Taurus Apr 20 – May 21: Be mindful that even though you are a welcome and very capable advocate when it comes to others and their problems, there is a risk now that associating so much with them might be something for you to try and avoid – otherwise you may get way off your own track, and into worlds not of your choosing. Leslie Jordon
Gemini May 22 – Jun 21: Having trouble making up your mind?? How about your bed?? Well, in fact, you may find yourself kind of stuck-like, not knowing which way to go… well, dear, (headlights and all) granted this is all going to change, but for the time being, don’t fight it, no need. Just gather more information before doing anything. Barry Manilow
Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22: They say that all work and no play make you a dull boy. Well, not right now, that’s for sure. Do be sure to get a little socializing in, around the edges. However, your focus on work, and with those with whom you associate professionally, is sure to prove a dandy use of time – fine boy. Cheyenne Jackson
Leo July 23 – Aug 23: Now is the time that you may be called to reach out and touch someone…not in the steam room however, I’m afraid. Your distant connections, relations, and affairs will divide your time and your mind – with the split leg focus. An answer regarding a relationship close to home will make its way to you easier than you ever thought. James St. James
Virgo Aug 24 – Sep22: Details, details, that’s right. What may be a cumbersome aspect to your interests needs to rate high on your attention chart at this time. You should also further inspect any opportunities that show promise; and fill every loophole, as you will not want to devote time only to find that it was a pothole, or a rat hole, but not the right hole. Lily Tomlin
Libra Sep 23 – Aug 23: Two steps forward, one step back – knit one, pearl two…whatever – it’s going to be a while before much production is done, so breathe and lay in a supply of the stuff you most need on those power sessions, (Hey, you decide!) Hours will be long, but energy short, so pace yourself and make the others, if you can. Matthew Williamson
Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22: Pick a little, talk a little, pick, pick, pick – or maybe not. Drop the dumb stuff, the petty, and the mellow dramatic. You need not spend energy in these directions. Do your best to tidy up loose ends, or at the very least, smack ‘em until they go away. This new leaf will reward in Quicker Picker Uppers, so get ready to enjoy the bounty. Madison Hildebrand
Sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 21: Oh, well look who’s both bold and beautiful now! Ta-Da! Your courage and self-assurance is very high, and you come forth with brilliant stuff, but most of those around you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Not to fret, just ride it, hold on to your own, and in no time the rest will assume its rightful place. Jason Sechrest
Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 20: As you roll the dice now in your life’s game of Monopoly, you have no trouble gathering an impressive collection of properties, etc. However, what doesn’t seem to be easy is completing much of any of them. This has you going from smirk to stunned, and back again. It’s okay though. Have fun on the see-saw for now as the Tilt-a-Whirl is coming soon. Sal Mineo
Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 18: Looks as though you seem to be popping up everywhere, more than Orville Redenbacher and the Pillsbury dough boy combined. Well, good for you. Adding to your contact list is a bit overdue. Be sure to be calm and diplomatic under conditions that tend to irritate. This way you remain as fresh and as tart as others see you. Jose Antonio Vargas
Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20: At a time when those around you are talking nothing but doom and gloom and seem to be retreating back into the dark of their rooms, you are packing up for a day at the beach. One word for you…GO! Distance yourself from negative energy and you will stay afloat even on the pools “infinity” edge. Besides, the sun-kissing will outshine a little sand in the shorts, be sure of that! Gary & Larry Lane
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