THE COLUMN
With the dog gay day’s of Summer 2011 heating up into our classic Indian Southern Californian Summer, there’s plenty of clubland time to keep it all gay going. And going, going Gay is the only way to go go! Lady GaGa has finally came OUT of his Tranny Closet at the VMA’s this year! And was “allegedly” caught bumpin’ uglies with Pop Closet Gramps Tony Bennet in his big, fat sretch limo. Men are such Pigs! Now our Patron Saint of Catholic Mafia Princess’s has fallen into a mere, dumb, dumping, dude with a classic ahem…ga garbage cock! With garbage men, being some of the best, butchest tricks I’ve ever had, Brett Henrichsen’s MASTERBEAT’S HARD LABOR 6 brought us some real mans back to the MAYAN Downtown again for the 6th year. Along with Dj’s Paulo and Ana Paula beating down hard, hard bodies from all over converged for this drum and bass feat into the crack of dawn. Hard Hotties beatin’ with the best of em: Rob Dorman, Bill Bouvier, Anil Patel, Alex Rhodes, Tony Moran, Patti Razetto, Alyson Calagna, Isaac Escalante, Ric Sena, Justin David, Steve Hatchett, Michael Brown, Jenna Marx, Caesar Gomez, Brian Delgado, Shelley and Leticia, Jack Hartsfield, Gary Steinberg, David Wiggins, Mike Nava, Gracie Lastie, Paul Roeder, Paul Nicholls, Jeff Delancey, Page Arpel, Justin Frazier, Mark VDH, Jude Antonin, Ruben Zambrano, Greg Butler, Jeffrey Drew, Montana Volby, Steven Dehler, Gregory Howell, Rudy Cobelentz, Jason and Fred. Wheeeee!!! Looks like you’ve turned your smart queer eye to the pages of Ameria’s TOP bottom queer rag Odyssey Fagazine, for your bi weekly gossip fix brought to you only by H.S.H.Candy Ass (Hollywood)’s tinsel town terrorist S.R.S. Sandaughter Shamantha Cox!! Move over Katy Perry, Adele, and Lil’ Kim wannabe Nicki Minaj!! This years Mtv VMA’s belonged once again to ahem…“Lady” GaGa as he proudly left his drag at home and showed up as his natural horse hung male self, Jo Calderone!! Stars like Katie Perry, Kanye West, Beyonce, Jay Z, Justin Gay Bieber, and Courtney Love’s arch enemy Dave Grohl watched in shock and awe as Mr. Calderone stole the show with a lil’ help from Queen guitarist Brian May!! Speaking of handsome men, Randy Barbato and Fenton Bailey’s superfreak Docu-S.R.S.star and ahem…daughter of Cher, the one and only Mr. Chaz Bono has been getting a lot of shit for becoming a cast member on this seasons Dancing With The Stars!! Never mind his co-stars like Carson Kreesley, Ricki Lake, Kristen Cavallari, Nancy Grace, and David Arquette…we need to take to the blogs and show our support to Chaz for being brave enough to bring trans to prime time reality tv! The only other smart choice for a trans on tv would have been DWTS contestant David’s sister Queen Ruler H.S.H. Alexis Arquette- but my psychic skills are telling me she might have her very own tv show in the works!! Hooray!! Meanwhile, the show must go on, suicides and all, for Bravo’s killer tv show The Real HouseKILLERS of Beverly (Murder) Hills!!! The network has decided to air the show and are even considering including scenes from Russell and Taylor’s marriage councelling sessions!! The premiere episode featured a scene where Kyle, Camille, Adrianne,Kim, and Lisa (sans widow Taylor) sat down on a couch to cry fake for camera tears about Russell Armstrong’s death!! Looks like Taylor is fucking the LA county coroner now.. They both QUICKLY said Russell wasnt KILLED he ONLY committed suicide… Too bad the living Armstrongs have hired their own private imvestigator to prove he was MURDERED!!! Bad news for H.S.H. Madonna!! The critics have panned her directorial skills!!! Her film WE opened at the Venice film festival and received scathing reviews!! Even movie mogul Harvey Weinstein tried to unsecure the rights to the film!! And, lets not forget about the photos of her problem child Lourdes wearing a bikini and sporting HUGE breasts while Mamma Madge vacationed on the beach with her 24 year old “latest camera ready boyfriend” Brahim Zakrit!!! Add to her list of troubles the current lawsuit against her clothing line Material Girl, her ex husband Guy Ritchie and his new much younger girlfriend Jaqui Ainsley just giving birth to a baby boy, and her current fight with the new Fame Queen H.S.H. Lady GaGa where H.S.H. Madonna had the nerve to say: “I have no comment to make about her obsession towards me because I don’t know whether her behaviour is something deep and meaningful, or superficial!!!” Speaking of fights, Nicole Ritchie and Jessica Simpson are at each others throats because the two former stars have been cast as judges on a fashion themed reality show and Nicole thinks Jessica has no concept of high fashion!!! Romance time! Looks like Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have fallen right in love!! The two fame birds were seen kissing each other and holding hands at Disneyland!! In other Disney news, Miley Cyrus is moving further away from her squeaky clean image after she got yet another tattoo and she recently talked to her idol big ol’ dyke Joan Jett about how shes not eleven years old anymore and she doesnt need to apologize for her adult behavior!! Everyone still loves Kim Kardashian!! Her top rated tv show scored over 3.5 million viewers this week. Hey, whatever happened to Paris Hilton’s Oxygen show?? Cancelled!! Robert Pattinson just finished filming blockbuster movie Breaking Dawn with his co star Kristin Stewart! Meanwhile, Cameron Diaz and Cheryl Cole have become close friends after working together on the set of What to Expect When You’re Expecting!! Looks like Arnold Schwartzenegger and Bruce Willis are teaming up for the action flick The Expendables 2!! Wow! 80’s star Anthony Michael Hall was arrested for disturbing the peace!! Hmmm.. Britney Spears is filming the music video to her new single in England!!! Jersey Shore superstar Snooki was seen partying in Las Vegas on Labor Day Weekend!! Rapper The Game claims he was kicked out of a famous LA restaurant for being black and referred to the owner as a slave master?!?! After receiving a lot of backlash, Souljah Boy has apologized for his anti- military song!! Celebrity Lesbian Angelina Jolie’s Gay husband Brad Pitt is a hero- after he saved an extra from being trampled on the set of World War Z!! Uh oh!!! Goldie Hawn’s ex hubby and Kate Hudson’s dad will be telling all in a new book!! Yay!! Looks like Amy Winehouse’s parents will be giving their first interview to Anderson Cooper on his new tv show!! Gee!! Tranny killer/Closetcase Fag Eddie Murphey has been selected by Oscar uber producer Brett Ratner to host this years Academy Awards! House problems!! Closet Bull Dyke Rihanna is suing the lady she bought her 6.6! Million dollar home from and her realtor and home inspector because she claims she wad duped into buying a dump!! The roof on Shannon Doherty’s home recently collapsed due to water damage! And one more cancelled tidbit, Kate plus 8…is finally off the air andKate Gosselin, is begging for work. Thats all the gossip for now, Maryies!! Keep up with Odyssey for all the Gay Goings On & downs of all the Big Fat Movie Stars in Hollywood California!!! Stay in tune to the killer Gay Gozzip loop! Click up to Cyber Fagland at ODYSSEYMAGAZINE.NET for the “T”on Our Big Gay Globes’s N.Y.C. to even Brasil’s Mary Rulers! of F-List Fag & Bull Dag FIGHTERS! (Parody, Mary!!)
