INTERSCOPES!
By Lady Katherine Conella
SCORPIO (Oct 21-Nov 22) Happy birthday, Scorpio! More than any other sign, you wear every second of your life on your face. In your case, life equals lines. (Pass the Oil of Olay!) And it seems that the recent weeks have been pretty stressful for you. So what’s the good news? Through the rest of November, you should be able to rest your tired old bones and enjoy the freedom and peace that should be surrounding you these days. Don’t expect a lot of fun or excitement right now; the accent is on replenishing your inner resources. Of course, you may decide to create some drama around Thanksgiving. People like you should go out for Turkey Day dinner. It saves on wear and tear for other people’s nerves! Scorpios like you: Marlo Thomas, Goldie Hawn, Bjork
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) Some Negative Nellies might think that the rest of November will be a hell on Earth for you Archers. Then again, if you were a nelly queen you’d probably be negative, too. Still, these coming few weeks are going to be testing your concepts of reality big time. So many aspects of your life could change in the blink of an eye that December might find you in a completely different environment: work-wise, home-wise and every other kind of wise. Because of all these alterations in your life, don’t look to Thanksgiving to be a restful time unless you’re staying away from the tina and/or entering rehab. Otherwise, quietly eat your turkey and fight the urge to turn anexoric! Centaurs like you: Kiefer Sutherland, Andy Dick, Ray Romano
CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19) Although November may be proving catastrophic for some people, you lucky Goats should be right where you want to be – on top. There should be a real streak of aggression in your actions during the last half of the month, which will all be for your own good. You should be filled with senses of authority, courage, command and power right now so allow yourself to steamroll effortlessly over those who stand in your way. Now is the time to achieve and that’s precisely what you should be doing. But do try to take a break when the holidays arrive. Even supermen like you need to rest and relax. Sex would be nice, too. But…oh, well… Goats like you: Geena Davis, Benny Hill, Robby Benson
AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18) Much as you Water Bearers enjoy overindulging in drink and drugs – not to mention sex – the remainder of this month probably won’t be about all that. In fact, you seem to be led towards a lot of hard work over these next few weeks. But you shouldn’t mind it, because it appears that you will be polishing up your skills and doing things you truly enjoy. A lot of what you do now could pay off over the next few months so don’t resist putting your nose to the grindstone and paying attention to details. And since there’s so much emphasis on work, it probably shouldn’t surprise you that there won’t be much partying going on. Unless, of course, it’s a party for two… Water Bearers like you: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rue McClanahan, Kelsey Grammer
PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) If you Fishies work really hard throughout the rest of November, you might be amazed by how much love can conquer hatred. You are far more empowered than you’ve been in a really long time. You should feel full of strength and courage, as if you could tackle almost anything and come out the winner. And you know what? You just might. You should also feel filled with energy and determination so anything you’ve been wanting to set into motion should be started before December arrives. It’s not terribly often that you sluggish Pisces people can kick your ass into gear so for God’s sake, don’t waste this opportunity while it exists. Who knows when it will happen again? Fishies like you: Matthew Broderick, Rosie O’Donnell, Timothy Dalton
ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) Although there’s probably nothing better than you Rams would like to do is to kick back and relax from now through the New Year, it isn’t going to happen. At least, it shouldn’t. Your senses are highly attuned right now and the last thing you should try to do is numb them out by too much sex, smokes, drugs or drinks. Especially in the workplace, your mental agility and dexterity might have some far-reaching benefits based on what happens between now and the rest of the month. Your alertness to some less-than-aboveboard activities at work or out in public just might net you a pretty impressive reward as well. Who knows? You might even end up able to pay your bills! Rams like you: Adolf Hitler, Joey Lawrence, Carmen Electra
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20) Luck for you Bulls is a double-edged sword over the next couple of weeks. On the one hand, you should be quite busy with work (especially joyful if you’re in business for yourself) and drawing to you a lot of positive feedback and attention. You may also be pulling in a pleasing amount of money, too. So on that level, your sense of earthly power and success should keep you sleeping soundly. But your conscience probably won’t, because you’ve got a mean streak in you that may be making itself felt these days. It’s especially embarrassing for you when it has to do with people around you in monetary need. Nothing’s worse than being a cheap-ass and having everyone know about it! Bulls like you: Queen Elizabeth II, Tony Danza, Andie MacDowell
GEMINI (May 21-Jun 21) If anyone on Earth has money falling down around them like golden raindrops, it should be you Twins. Perhaps you’ve been financially solvent for a while and you’re seeing a nice influx of funds. More likely, though, is the probability that you’ve been in pretty dire straits financially and this sudden burst of money coming your way is the best present you could have. You seem truly stable in the money department, possibly for the first time in quite a while. When Thanksgiving arrives, you should probably have more to be thankful than anyone else at your table. So while you’re gearing up for the December holidays, don’t forget to buy something for yourself. You deserve it – for once! Twins like you: Juliette Lewis, Prince William, Jane Russell
CANCER (Jun 22-Jul 22) Unlike a lot of people, you Crabs should be celebrating in style this Thanksgiving. That’s because you should be filled with joy at all the good things coming your way right now. In fact, the rest of November should be a time of giving thanks. Money-wise, you should be reaping the rewards of all the hard work and planning you’ve done through the year. A sense of perfection will probably hover around your work environment. And you could finally relax a bit. You’ve been busting ass for quite a while. So kick back, gnaw on lots of white meat and enjoy your tryptophane high! Crabs like you: Robin Williams, Don Knotts, Josh Hartnett
LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) Oh, dear…you Lions may be trying your best to avoid anything to do with turkey or pumpkin pie once Thanksgiving arrives. You may not have much to celebrate. Can you not afford to go home and be with your family, or has there been some kind of fallout? Are you and your lover on rocky ground? A sense of loneliness and absence seem to pervade the rest of the month for you. However, whatever is depressing you may not be a real as you think. It’s possible that your wishes are only delayed in coming true. Yes, being unhappy isn’t much fun – unless you’re really twisted emotionally. But try to look to the future with optimism. Hey – you’ve got nothing to lose! Lions like you: Kim Cattrall, Kenny Rogers, Wilt Chamberlain
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) You Virgins can heave a sigh of relief right about now. Much of the pressures and the stresses that have been hounding you lately seem to be taking a break. So while you’ve struggling mightily against negative events (not to mention a few hidden enemies), you seem to be able to sit back and take a break. You’ll probably feel on edge and expecting new problems to hit…and perhaps they will. But it’s doubtful that you’ll see them until December at least. And perhaps the important thing for you to keep in mind is that you’re learned that you’re a lot stronger than you thought – both physically and mentally. Which is great, since so many people doubt that you have either! Virgins like you: David James Elliott, Ricki Lake, Faith Hill
LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 23) Oh, you lucky lucky Libras! Just about everything seems to be going your way for the rest of November. You’re likely to feel not only successful right now but that many areas of your life have reached a level of perfection you may not have thought was possible. Joy, happiness and pleasure should be the emotions closest to you. And let’s not leave out love. While the holidays should be wonderfully pleasant with friends and family sharing their devotion to you, it’s your romantic life that should be giving you the most contentment. Could this one be THE one? Possibly…although you’ve already found so many THE ones! Librans like you: Carrie Fisher, Judge Judy Sheindlin, Alfred Nobel
Lady Katherine Connella has been writing frighteningly insightful and accurate astrology columns for gay magazines since 1993. She is the author of a shocking book of memoirs, currently available for sale online in print at www.booklocker.com, www.amazon.com and www.borders.com among others. For more information, go to www.katherineconnella.com
